WELCOME TO RETRONET
You have reached a website that is not harmful.
This site is best viewed at 800x600 in 256 colours,
with the speakers on and the phone line free.
>>> CLICK ANYWHERE TO ENTER <<<
CA: ...
page loaded in 0.0 seconds · you are visitor #...... · no frames version
Click a building to go there. The pond is also a place.
80x48 pixels, drawn by hand, animated. Not to scale. Nothing here is to scale.
OLD WEB. NEW YEAR. SAME WEIRD ENERGY.
Somewhere around 1998 the web split. On one branch it grew up, got a job, and started tracking you across seventeen domains. On the other branch, it just… kept going. People kept making pages about their cats, their fish, their Harleys, and their theory about dolphins.
RETRONET is a postcard from that second branch. Everything on this page was placed by hand: the layout, the copy, and every single pixel of art. No stock GIFs, no image generators, no borrowed clip art. If a sprite looks a little wonky, that's because somebody sat there plotting it in a text editor, the way it was always done.
The mission is simple: keep the weird, mysterious, unexplored feeling of the early web alive, one <MARQUEE> at a time.
the world wide web (artist's impression)
HOT! NEW! HOT!
* No corporate roadmap. No boring promises. No "engagement". Just pure internet energy. *
| Status | Loading... |
DYOR. Memecoins can go to zero. This page is a hobby, not advice.
The dev wallet is locked for 999 YEARS.
Locked on:
Unlocks on:
Time remaining:
Unlock progress:
Not a metaphor. The lock outlives the webmaster, the webmaster's cat, and probably the internet. The key is on a floppy disk in a drawer.
+--------------------------------------+ | CERTIFICATE OF LOCKING | | | | This certifies that the DEV WALLET | | of $RETRONET has been locked | | for a period of NINE HUNDRED AND | | NINETY-NINE (999) YEARS. | | | | No rugs. No dumps. No "strategic | | treasury deployment". | | | | Signed: The Webmaster =^..^= | | Witness: Byte (mascot) | | Witness: a dolphin | +--------------------------------------+
Verify it yourself on-chain once the CA is live. DYOR.
Take a wistful gaze into my coffee cup… and please don't break anything.
| Name: | Webmaster |
| Age: | In my prime |
| Location: | Cyberspace (near the modem) |
| Browser: | Gopher Navigator 2.1, 256 colours |
| Connection: | 56k (when nobody's on the phone) |
| Hobbies: | Chess, IRC, collecting animated GIFs, talking to people on the internet |
| Pets: | 2 cats (see above), 1 spider (see below) |
| E-mail: | Email Me (or sign the guestbook!) |
| Bag: | $RETRONET BUY |
Last updated: . Best viewed at 800×600 with the "Times New Roman" font.
| My Emoticon Collection | |
|---|---|
| :-) | Happy |
| 0:-) | Angelic |
| ;-> | Wink |
| :-9 | Delicious / Yummy |
| :-{} | Blowing a kiss |
| >:-) | Devilish |
| ((((name)))) | Hug |
| @>-`-,-- | Rose |
| {^:= | My fave smiley |
| =^..^= | Cat (obviously) |
| ~~~~> | Dial-up noise |
HELLO INTERNET PERSON
Every graphic on this site, pixel by pixel. Free to use on your own homepage if you link back. Please do not hotlink, my bandwidth is 2 MB a month.
| Red Fish — the original. Pointers: N/A. | |
| Angel Fish — striped, dignified, does not answer e-mail. | |
| Dolphin — see fact below. This row is my favourite row. | |
| Dolphin (again) | |
| Dolphin (still) | |
| ??? | Mermaid — unconfirmed. Photo pending. |
| $RETRONET — not a fish either. BUY BUY BUY | |
| Spider — not a fish. Lives in the Computer Lab, runs the search engine. |
FREE searches! Type something and click the spider to search the WEB!
calculator.exe — it really works
winmine.exe — left click to sweep, right click to flag. Best time: none yet
BUY (the button is here in case you lose)
sol.exe — click a card, click where it goes. Double-click sends it up. Win for the bouncing cards.
pinball.exe — click the table, hold SPACE to pull the plunger, Z and X flip. Bumpers 100, targets 500, lanes 250.
Feel free to visit all my cave, then tell me what you like and what not.
Ten pictures, every one plotted by hand in a text editor. Some of them move. Vote for your favourite with the little heart.
Every graphic I have ever drawn, all at once, because why would you not. 101 originals, hundreds of copies, zero downloads from anywhere.
Ring members so far: